Deseo erótico y excitación: diferencias entre hombres

When It Comes To Sex, Some Men Are From Mars, Others From Venus

Apr. 17, 2008 — A study by researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University finds that men report a variety of different experiences involving sexual desire and arousal.

Men participating in focus groups expressed a range of experiences and feelings relating to such matters as the relationship between erections and desire, the importance of scent and relationships, and a woman’s intelligence. The Kinsey Institute study, appearing in the April issue of the journal “Archives of Sexual Behavior,” is unique because few studies so far have examined how closely the findings of decades of laboratory studies on sex actually reflect the experiences of men.

“We have a lot of assumptions about how men think and feel and behave sexually,” said Erick Janssen, associate scientist at the Kinsey Institute. “We use all kinds of methods to measure men’s sexual responses; in addition, we use questionnaires and surveys to ask about sexual behaviors. It’s less common to sit down with men and ask them to talk about their experiences.”

The focus groups involved 50 men divided into three groups based on their age (18-24 years, 25-45 years and 46 and older). Below are some examples of the different experiences reported by the men:

* Some factors, such as depression or a risk of being caught having sex, were reported by some men as inhibiting sex, while other men found that they can enhance their desire and arousal.
* An erection is not the main cue for men to know they are sexually aroused. Most of the men responded that they can experience erections without feeling aroused or interested, leading researchers to suggest that erections are not good criteria for determining sexual arousal in men.
* Many men found it difficult to distinguish between sexual desire and sexual arousal, a distinction prominent in most sexual response models used by researchers and clinicians.
* The changes in the quality of older men’s erections had a direct effect on their sexual encounters, including, for some, a shifting focus to the partner and her sexual enjoyment. Older men also consistently mentioned that as they aged, they became more careful and particular in choosing sexual partners.
* The sexual history of women also mattered to the men — but differently for different age groups. Sexually experienced women were considered more threatening by younger men, who had concerns about “measuring up,” but such women were considered more arousing for older men.

Duración de los encuentros eróticos

Sexual Intercourse: Let’s All Be Brief and Average
By Sue Katz, Consenting Adult. Posted April 16, 2008.

The Associated Press, under the headline “Sex Takes 3 to 13 Minutes,” has given the world a sneak-peek at the science of quickies. A study to be published next month in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, based on a survey of sex therapists, concluded that the “optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes.”

I scratched my head on that one, until I read that “the time does not include foreplay.” And then the bulb went on. Well, two bulbs went on. First, why are they using those tired, narrow definitions of “sex” and “foreplay” — as if they were separate activities? And second, what if “intercourse” isn’t in your sexual vocabulary, although you’re having fabulous erotic experiences? Or if your idea of intercourse involves neither a penis nor a vagina?

What’s sex?

This conflation of “sex” and “sexual intercourse” is as outdated an idea as the prohibition on wearing white shoes after Labor Day or the belief that birth control causes promiscuity. Let’s get real.

Penetration is one of many sexual activities. Others are oral sex, nipple pinching, butt squeezing, clit rubbing, ball tickling, breast binding, toe sucking and, did I say clit rubbing? The actions that constitute “sex” — undistinguished from “foreplay” — are as varied as the people who do them.

If a couple has kissed and touched and teased and stroked and sucked until both of them are totally satiated — but they haven’t screwed — is that not sex? If someone has a fetish — say they are wild about stockings — and they get off humping the silk-encased thigh of their partner — is that not sex?

Consejos para encuentros swinger

Kasidie

Buyer Beware…

What every swinger should know before booking a lifestyle event.
by WEGETAROUND

The swinging lifestyle is full of great, respectful, professional, open and honest people, right? For the most part, I’d have to say “Yes!” I mean, where else can you go to a club, convention or a resort and meet people for the very 1st time, from a completely different part of the country (or world) and get invited over to their home? We have been to couples houses and even stayed overnight when traveling and I don’t even know their last names.

Because of the very nature of this “open” lifestyle, barriers are often broken down swiftly and friendships are made quicker than through traditional means. This gives us a great warm and fuzzy feeling about people we meet in the lifestyle as a whole, but that doesn’t mean that people still can’t be people. Or even that people who have the best of intentions, can’t still end up causing a mess.

Orejas…

La piel que se le ve bajo la raya del pelo, la piel que la doctora tiene delante y detrás de las orejas, es tan lisa y blanca como debe de serlo la piel de las demás zonas donde no le da el sol. Si las mujeres supieran la impresión que producen sus orejas, sus rebordes firmes y carnosos, la pequeña cavidad oscura superior, esos suaves contornos retorcidos que te llevan por sus canales hasta la oscuridad interior, pues bueno, más mujeres llevarían el pelo suelto.

(Chuck Palahniuk, Asfixia, DeBolsillo, 2004, p. 30)

Puritanismo

Todos los periódicos han recogido la noticia: el presidente de una federación participó en una orgía con cinco prostitutas. Como parte de la fiesta, hubo juego de roles BDSM, algunos de ellos de temática nazi. Piden su dimisión por considerar este comportamiento indigno e incompatible con su cargo. Además, mencionan el parentesco nazi de su padre como agravante.

Sobre esto último debo de andar muy despistado porque no creía que a los hijos se les pudiera responsabilizar en modo alguno por la ideología paterna.

Pero vamos al meollo: en sus ratos libres, en el disfrute de su erótica, un señor se monta una orgía, paga a unas prostitutas y juegan a buenos y malos. ¡¡¿Y?!!

¿A quién le importa esto?

¿Hay eróticas dignas e indignas? ¿Ahora hay que ponerse lúbrico sólo con lo políticamente correcto? ¿Acaso los deseos siguen normas sociales? ¿La intromisión en la vida privada no es un rasgo de los fascismos? ¿Solo son fiables las personas que se acuestan con su esposa en la postura del misionero? ¿Desde cuándo juzgamos la adecuación al trabajo por los deseos eróticos?

No es un caso único. El linchamiento mediático que acompaña cualquier revelación sobre la vida erótica de los personajes públicos (especialmente si se trata de sadomasoquismo) revela el puritanismo que todavía tiñe las actitudes de muchos.

Esquizofrenia y sexualidad

El sexo también existe en la esquizofrenia

07/03/2008

PATRICIA MATEY

MADRID.- La vida sexual de cualquier paciente psíquico siempre ha sido desestimada por la profesión médica. Una de las razones por las que se “ha pasado de largo sobre este campo” es que, hasta hace relativamente poco tiempo, la atención asistencial estaba enfocada casi exclusivamente al tratamiento, olvidando otras necesidades del enfermo. Sin embargo, la vida sexual sana y satisfactoria contribuye tanto al bienestar del individuo como a la integración de la población psiquiátrica y son los propios afectados los que muestran preocupación por su funcionamiento sexual en la consulta.

“Los pacientes esquizofrénicos, como el resto de enfermos mentales, son seres sexuales y el reconocimiento y la validación de esta realidad es un tema muy importante en su calidad de vida”, recuerda un artículo publicado en ‘Schizophrenia Bulletin‘.

Para José Díaz Morfa, presidente de la Asociación Española de Sexología Clínica (AESC) y consultor de la sección de Psiquiatría y Sexualidad Humana de la Asociación Mundial de Psiquiatría: “Los prejuicios existentes en torno a que el paciente grave no tiene vida sexual, la falta de información de los especialistas en esta materia y la extensión a la población femenina psiquiátrica del concepto que niega el disfrute sexual de la mujer, han postergado el interés médico en esta faceta.

Efectos de los azotes infantiles en la vida erótica

Study: Spanking children affects their sex lives as adults
By Associated Press  |   Friday, February 29, 2008
DURHAM, N.H. - New research by a University of New Hampshire domestic abuse expert says spanking children affects their sex lives as adults.

Professor Murray Straus concludes that children who are spanked are more likely as adults to coerce partners to have sex, to have unprotected sex and to have masochistic sex.

Other studies have shown the link between spanking and physical violence, but Straus said his research is the first to show a link between corporal punishment and sexual behavior.

“My underlying motive was to bring this to the attention of parents and of more people,” Straus said, “in the hope it will help continue the decrease in the use of corporal punishment.”

Straus, co-director of UNH’s Family Research Laboratory, conducted a study in the mid-1990s in which he asked 207 students at three colleges whether they’d ever been aroused by masochistic sex. He also asked them if they’d been spanked as children. He found that students who were spanked were nearly twice as likely to like masochistic sex.

He has bundled that study with three new ones that explore the connections between corporal punishment, coerced sex and risky sex. He presented all four studies this week at the American Psychological Association’s Summit on Violence and Abuse in Relationships in Bethesda, Md.

El Sade de Sollers

 Jueves, 21 de Febrero 2008

Sade
Philippe Sollers
Trad. C. Vizcaíno. Páginas de espuma, 2007. 112 páginas, 12 euros
No está claro quién de los dos es más controvertido, si el famoso marqués de Sade (1740-1814), conocido por sus escandalosas novelas sobre la perversa Juliette y la desdichada Justine, o Philippe Sollers (Burdeos, 1936), que desde hace medio siglo levanta polémicas en el mundo intelectual francés a través de sus sagaces escritos y desequilibrantes afirmaciones contra la falsa mentalidad conservadora que nos rodea. Los dos textos reunidos en Sade –“Sade en el tiempo” y la hipotética carta al cardenal Bernis, “Sade contra el Ser Supremo”– se publicaron en Le Monde, después de la bella biografía escrita por Maurice Lever (Fayard, 1991). En ellos, Sollers resucita y encarna la personalidad del autor del siglo XVIII, dando no sólo una imagen de la historia de ese siglo sino también una razón de la locura que surge en nuestro tan moderno siglo XXI.

El mundo secreto de las fantasías eróticas

Secret cinema

Jan 31st 2008

Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?: The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies
By Brett Kahr. Basic Books; 304 pages; $28.

ASKING strangers to recount their most private thoughts about sex is unlikely to make a dull book, and Brett Kahr’s compendious research into the psychology of sexual fantasy is gripping. It is also somewhat alarming.

Leave it open on your desk at work, and prudish colleagues or bosses may think your reading matter highly unsuitable. If you have children, it is not the sort of thing (unless you are very modern-minded) that you would leave around at home. In particular, the middle section is unsparingly explicit about every possible sort of erotic daydream. It includes sentences such as “let us immerse ourselves in some representative incest fantasies”. (Let’s not, some readers may feel.)

Not that it is all so hair-raising. Some people, not unexpectedly perhaps, fantasise about celebrities. A handful imagine romantic tenderness with their real-life partners. But many of those surveyed say they like thinking about doing disgusting things with, to, or in front of, total strangers, or (perhaps more unsettlingly) the people they love.

The case studies are not dirty stories, however. They are part of a big, solemnly academic, five-year research project. Mr Kahr, a London-based academic and therapist, surveyed (anonymously) 18,000 people in Britain and America in conjunction with YouGov, an internet pollster, and conducted 132 five-hour interviews. The upshot is that nine out of ten people have sexual fantasies, mostly pretty lurid ones—and Mr Kahr thinks the remaining tenth are crippled by shame, guilt or repression.

Peculiaridades eróticas: los materiales del deseo (II)

 

Peculiaridades eróticas: los materiales del deseo (II)

María Victoria Ramírez - 29/01/2008

En el artículo de la semana pasada mencionamos que en la erótica humana hay muchas peculiaridades del placer y del deseo que nada tienen que ver con el coito, y que no tienen por objeto ni por fin último la reproducción. Mencionamos que la erótica reproductiva (coito) se ha tomado como modelo de “normalidad”, y se ha dado por supuesto que es “lo que le gusta a todo el mundo normal” o “lo que debe gustarle a todo el mundo”.

Sin embargo, el deseo humano se compone de muchas peculiaridades que, por alejarse precisamente del coito heterosexual, ha veces han sido consideradas en muchas ocasiones como “perversiones” o “trastornos”.

Lo cierto es que muchas de estas peculiaridades (las llamadas a veces “parafilias” o incluso “trastornos”), están presentes en gran parte de la población en pequeñas dosis.

Podemos encontrar ejemplos de varias de estas peculiaridades en muchos deseos y gustos eróticos, siendo a veces ingredientes que enriquecen las sexualidades. Incluso las peculiaridades consideradas socialmente más “extrañas” se “cuelan”, veladas y atemperadas, pero presentes al fin y al cabo, en algunas representaciones eróticas del cine y de la literatura, así como en las fantasías y juegos de muchos amantes.

Veamos algunos ejemplos:

Peculiaridades eróticas: los materiales del deseo (I)

Peculiaridades eróticas: los materiales del deseo (I)

María Victoria Ramírez* - 22/01/2008

Si observamos las clasificaciones que a lo largo de la historia se han hecho sobre los denominados ‘trastornos sexuales’, encontramos una sospechosa tendencia a denominar enfermedad o trastorno (parafilias, en su denominación más reciente) a todo aquello que se aleje del coito heterosexual.

En una cultura como la nuestra, todo lo que se aleje o incluso no tenga relación ninguna con dicha práctica, pese a que produzca satisfacción o placer erótico, se considerará extraño, raro o anormal. Si se parte de un concepto de la erótica centrado en el coito reproductivo, toda la erótica no reproductiva no se entenderá, su sentido o significado escapará a nuestra comprensión. Pero es evidente que en la erótica humana hay muchas peculiaridades del placer y del deseo que nada tienen que ver con el coito.

Hace algunas décadas, por ejemplo, las caricias orales en los genitales (relación no reproductiva) eran consideradas una perversión, y aún son consideradas de esta forma por muchas personas. Freud consideró en su día que las mujeres que tenían orgasmos por estimulación del clítoris (con caricias orales o con la mano), pero no por el coito, eran inmaduras y padecían un trastorno del que debían curarse con años de psicoanálisis (cura que, por cierto, como el propio Freud reconocía, no solía dar resultado).

También la homosexualidad (que implica relaciones no reproductivas) ha sido considerada durante muchos años una enfermedad, un vicio y un trastorno, y se han intentado diversos métodos de curación sin, obviamente, el resultado esperado: la orientación del deseo hacia personas de distinto sexo.

Otro ejemplo sería la masturbación (otra conducta no reproductiva) que ha sido tildada en el pasado de vicio y práctica enfermiza o inmadura y, aún a día de hoy, si una persona disfruta o logra un orgasmo con más facilidad con la masturbación que con el coito, es considerada extraña o se piensa que tiene un problema. Y, por supuesto, las relaciones eróticas entre personas de edad avanzada (relaciones también no reproductivas) han sido condenadas durante mucho tiempo.

Pornografía infantil en internet

  May, 2003

Child pornography online: myth, fact, and social control 

Book Review
Robert Bauserman

Beyond Tolerance: Child Pornography Online. By Philip Jenkins. New York: New York University Press, 2001, 253 pages. Hardcover, $22.95.

Few areas of sexual behavior arouse as much condemnation or as little critical thought as child sexual abuse, and child pornography (despite lack of a consensus definition) is often presented as the epitome of sexual abuse. Consequently, Jenkins’ book is valuable to those interested in issues of child and adolescent sexuality, sexual abuse, pornography, and sexuality on the Internet. Despite its flaws, no other comparable work exists that explores the online subculture of child pornography based on the thoughts and beliefs of the participants themselves, primarily as posted on message boards catering to individuals seeking to collect child pornography (CP) images.

Jenkins clearly states that CP images are exploitative and abusive, but manages to be (usually) calm and reasoned in discussing the nature and extent of the problem and possible responses. Jenkins is well qualified to take a levelheaded look at this online subculture. In his earlier book, Moral Panics, he documented how periods of extreme concern over sexual threats to children have occurred several times in 20th-century America, leading to exaggerated claims about prevalence and effects in order to advance social and moral agendas. Jenkins also writes that he recognizes the contradiction between his earlier exposure of such concerns as overblown, and his effort in this book to raise social concern about an authentic problem he believes is neglected.

Historia del “streaking”

A HISTORY OF STREAKING
Birthday Suits and 15 Seconds of Infamy

By Stephan Orth

Whether jeered or cheered, they’re still the best entertainment available during a boring game. They’re only looking for one thing — 15 seconds of infamy — and they barely care about the legal trouble they might face. It’s naked — or nothing at all.

The three British bobbies look clearly amused as they detain the culprit. One officer holds his hat — protectively, but gingerly — over the naked man’s groin. Meanwhile, another man rushes to the scene offering a coat to cover up the bearded exhibitionist as hundreds of completely entertained spectators watch the bizarre scene unfold from the stands.

This scene marked a world first: 25-year-old Australian Michael O’Brian is believed to have been the first person to “streak” the audience at a major stadium. During a 1974 rugby match in London between England and Wales, O’Brian ran onto the playing field naked. The photo of his arrest illustrates the forbidden appeal that comes with streaking. Every streaker knows that it’s the easiest way to instantly please tens of thousands of people, and even the authorities have trouble concealing their delight when streakers strike.

Libros eróticos prohibidos

El infierno del libro prohibido

La Biblioteca Nacional de Francia desempolva en una exposición 300 joyas bibliográficas de alto voltaje erótico, algunas de ellas nunca mostradas

OCTAVI MARTÍ  -  París
EL PAÍS  -  Cultura - 04-12-2007

Las carteras tienen un departamento o bolsillo recóndito al que denominamos “infierno”. Las bibliotecas francesas tienen un departamento, estante o habitación que también recibe el nombre de “infierno”. Allí guardan los libros o estampas eróticas. O pornográficas. Sencillamente, secretas. Y quien tiene un secreto, tiene alma. Y quien tiene alma, puede pecar. Así que la exposición que la Biblioteca Nacional de Francia acoge desde hoy es, en cierto modo, una exposición de pecado. Desde 1844, la BNF tiene en su seno un infierno (enfer). En él se acumulan todos los libros -ilustrados o no- que pudieran hacernos “pecar”, “condenarnos”. Antes de esa fecha, la biblioteca no era pública o aún no estaba ordenada y accesible. Cuando era privada, ya contenía libros “licenciosos”, pero sus propietarios se limitaban a no dejarlos al alcance de los niños. Con la democracia -primero censitaria, luego masculina, por fin universal- se institucionaliza el control de la sexualidad.
En el enfer de la Biblioteca Nacional de Francia hay en la actualidad algo más de 1.700 publicaciones, muchos de los cuales jamás se han topado con el ojo del público. De un manuscrito del Roman de la rose, de Guillaume de Lorris y de Jean de Meung, del siglo XIV, a Au jour dit, de Pierre Bougeade, publicado el año 2000. En el primero vemos a una monjita recoger frutos del árbol de los penes -”es inútil resistirse a los deseos de la naturaleza. El hábito monástico no os ofrecerá protección alguna. ¡Coged pues los placeres de la vida!”-, en el segundo el dibujo alegórico ha sido sustituido por fotografías algo más crudas.

Placeres y peligros del bondage

The Pleasures and Dangers of Bondage
by Tristan Taormino
October 29th, 2007

Last week, the autopsy report was released for Rev. Gary Aldridge, who died in June of accidental asphyxiation while engaged in self-bondage and autoerotic asphyxiation. By now, you’ve probably heard something about the pastor of Thorington Road Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama, who was a friend of Jerry Falwell and was found dead in lots of rubber with a butt plug in his ass. There have been plenty of blog entries about how he was yet another closeted, kinky, conservative hypocrite who preached salvation but practiced sin. But in reading the details—especially from the coroner’s report—I was struck by something else: Man, this guy was  really into bondage. He was found alone wearing two rubber wet suits, a face mask, a rubber head mask, rubber underwear, diving gloves, and flippers; the various ways he was restrained seem to indicate he was hogtied, which is difficult (but not impossible) to achieve by yourself. He was definitely  not a novice bondage fan.

So, it seems, he died doing something he loved. Some people put themselves in bondage because that’s their turn-on, but it’s much more often a two- (or more) person sport. I wonder if Reverend Aldridge did it by himself because he couldn’t bear the shame or potential exposure of sharing it with someone else. If he could have found someone to share his kink with, he might still be alive.

When many people recall their first experience of bondage, it usually reaches all the way back to childhood. As part of cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, or another kids’ game, someone had to be restrained at some point. You’d grab a necktie or a belt or something from one of your parents’ closets and tie up the bad guys. Some people look back on those experiences as fun memories; bondage enthusiasts usually remember the first time they were tied up (or tied someone else up) with a lot more detail and glee.

Hipersexualización del nudismo

Naked & natural
Local nudists discuss their lifestyle

Published Thursday, October 4, 2007.
Caitlin Price / Culture Senior Writer

Those looking to embark on a free-spirited lifestyle should start by simply taking off their clothes.

Dating back to the hippie era of the 1960s, nudism tends to be thought of in a negative light. Americans often associate nudism with sex and think of nudist “colonies” as places for sexual activity. But practicing nudists — or naturists, as some prefer to be called — prefer this all-natural lifestyle for more spiritual and social reasons, not for nudity’s sexual stigma.

The idea that nudism is a sexual activity exists mainly in the “public imagination,” said Zen Nudist, a local nudist who prefers to remain anonymous. Nudity can be sexual, he said, but in the case of nudism, people just happen to be naked in front of one another.