Comprendiendo el deseo femenino

Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire
By Lisa M. Diamond
Harvard University Press
352pp
£18.95

17 April 2008

How important are sexual attraction, desire and love in shaping our identities? How fixed are our sexual identities? How much choice do we really have in identifying our sexual orientation(s)? And how can we disentangle the biological, psychological and social contexts of our lives to answer these questions successfully? These are among the many problems that Lisa Diamond sets out to answer in Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire.

Demonstrating equal awareness and sympathy for evidence from genetics, endocrinology, neurology, developmental and evolutionary psychology and social constructionist/feminist perspectives, Diamond also provides a balanced and informed critique of the methodological conduct of previous contributions to the relevant debates. That she opted for a ten-year longitudinal study using in-depth interviews with a self-identified “sexual minority” and heterosexual young women, using extracts from these interviews to support her argument, makes a pleasing change from the more typical surveys or experiments that comprise the majority of research literature on human sexuality.

Deseo erótico y excitación: diferencias entre hombres

When It Comes To Sex, Some Men Are From Mars, Others From Venus

Apr. 17, 2008 — A study by researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University finds that men report a variety of different experiences involving sexual desire and arousal.

Men participating in focus groups expressed a range of experiences and feelings relating to such matters as the relationship between erections and desire, the importance of scent and relationships, and a woman’s intelligence. The Kinsey Institute study, appearing in the April issue of the journal “Archives of Sexual Behavior,” is unique because few studies so far have examined how closely the findings of decades of laboratory studies on sex actually reflect the experiences of men.

“We have a lot of assumptions about how men think and feel and behave sexually,” said Erick Janssen, associate scientist at the Kinsey Institute. “We use all kinds of methods to measure men’s sexual responses; in addition, we use questionnaires and surveys to ask about sexual behaviors. It’s less common to sit down with men and ask them to talk about their experiences.”

The focus groups involved 50 men divided into three groups based on their age (18-24 years, 25-45 years and 46 and older). Below are some examples of the different experiences reported by the men:

* Some factors, such as depression or a risk of being caught having sex, were reported by some men as inhibiting sex, while other men found that they can enhance their desire and arousal.
* An erection is not the main cue for men to know they are sexually aroused. Most of the men responded that they can experience erections without feeling aroused or interested, leading researchers to suggest that erections are not good criteria for determining sexual arousal in men.
* Many men found it difficult to distinguish between sexual desire and sexual arousal, a distinction prominent in most sexual response models used by researchers and clinicians.
* The changes in the quality of older men’s erections had a direct effect on their sexual encounters, including, for some, a shifting focus to the partner and her sexual enjoyment. Older men also consistently mentioned that as they aged, they became more careful and particular in choosing sexual partners.
* The sexual history of women also mattered to the men — but differently for different age groups. Sexually experienced women were considered more threatening by younger men, who had concerns about “measuring up,” but such women were considered more arousing for older men.

Hombres, mujeres y trabajo

Men, women and work

Vanilla is not the only flavour
Apr 17th 2008

The Sexual Paradox: Men, Women, and the Real Gender Gap.
By Susan Pinker.
Scribner; 352 pages; $26. Atlantic Books; £12.99

WHY can’t a woman be more like a man, wondered Henry Higgins of his protégée Eliza Doolittle? Susan Pinker, a psychologist-turned-journalist, thinks the question is still being asked, sotto voce, by those who fret about the absence of women in boardrooms and laboratories.

Male, she says, is the “vanilla gender”; the norm from which female deviates. Now that women are free to work in any field, their choices are expected to mirror those of the men around them. So discrimination, albeit covert, is often held to be the cause when more women study biology and education than computing and physics, or take part-time and public-sector jobs rather than work the 80-hour weeks needed to get a seat on the board or a partnership in a law firm.

Ms Pinker sets out a different hypothesis: that the Western women who on average do different work from their brothers do so freely and with reason. The theory is attractive, given that the common alternative view is that women are all too often “either patsies or victims”. It is also controversial. Larry Summers resigned as president of Harvard University in 2006 because of the fuss caused by his suggestion that discrimination might not be the only reason so few women make it in science. But Ms Pinker marshals much evidence to back up her contention (some of it more contested than she acknowledges) of differing brain structures, hormones, motivation, empathy and risk-aversion.

El fantasma de la anterior pareja

April 4, 2008
Is your ex in bed with you?
If your ex is overshadowing your new romance, it’s time for an exorcism

Andrew G. Marshall

It’s an inescapable fact that when we fall in love, we bring all our previous sexual experience and conquests into the new relationship. However much we want to make a fresh start, and in the words of Madonna approach our new partner “like a virgin”, it’s hard to throw off the past. For many people, the legacy is a positive one, especially if the ex has helped them to feel safe and secure. However, if he or she was possessive, abusive or unfaithful, the past can cast a shadow over subsequent relationships.

Surprisingly, the ghosts of ex-lovers is less of a problem at the very start of a relationship. This confuses many of the couples in my marital therapy office. Rachel and Mike, both in their early thirties, sought help because their sex life had gone from being a source of great pleasure to one of conflict.

“It was really passionate for the first six months, but once we moved in together sex started to dwindle and now it happens only if I initiate, and then not always,” said Rachel.

So how can things change so quickly? When we first make love, we are very aware of past lovers and how we measure up. As intercourse is all about possession and surrender, casting out the ex is part of the excitement, drive and passion. However, once lust, the other ally at the beginning of a sexual relationship, has begun to wear off, ghosts can creep back into the bedroom.

En memoria de Albert Ellis

The Journal of Sex Research February 1, 2008

In memory of Albert Ellis (1913-2007). Reis, Ira. L

I knew Albert Ellis as a friend for more than 50 years. I will try to afford the reader insight into the Albert Ellis I knew. Al did not do much small talk or attend many cocktail parties–he focused on doing therapy, writing books, and discussing controversial issues. My interaction with Al consisted primarily of our discussions about controversial issues concerning sexuality. I will focus here on the two key periods in our relationship: first, the period during the 1950s and 1960s when Al was founding our organization (the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality [SSSS]) and also establishing his Institute of Rational Living; and, second, the 2000-2003 period when we did a book together and also debated a major assumption of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). I believe this approach will afford you insight into Al Ellis’s thoughts and feelings and make clear some of the crucial roles he played in the advancement of sexual science in our society.

Problemas para conseguir la viagra femenina

A Dose of Desire
The Race Is On to Create ‘Pink Viagra,’ But Some Women Aren’t in the Mood for It

By David Segal
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, March 12, 2008; C01

Viagra turns 10 this month, and didn’t time just fly? It seems like only yesterday we started guffawing at the Symbolism for Dummies ads on TV for the little blue pill and its “erectile dysfunction” rivals — footballs tossed through tires, faucets erupting. The spots ended with a list of potential side effects that sounded like a satire of potential side effects. “More than four hours ?” we winced. “Ouch.”

However discomfiting the commercials, the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of Viagra — on March 27, 1998 — is a landmark day in the history of sex. It seemed at the time like a biomedical revolution was upon us all, and about five minutes after word of the magical med went global, the question first was asked: Where is the women’s version of Viagra?

The short answer: They’re still working on it. A bunch of companies have tried and failed to create “pink Viagra,” as it’s often called. Other companies have drugs in late stages of clinical testing, including a gel that recently began a make-or-break nationwide study with several thousand women. Give us five years, maybe less, say the most optimistic researchers and doctors. Though it’s unclear exactly how many women would ask for a prescription, no one doubts that the first company that gets to market a remedy for female sexual dysfunction, as it’s formally known, will earn a fortune.

But as this race reaches what could be its final lap, not all of the spectators are cheering. Some, in fact, are booing as loudly as they can.

Esquizofrenia y sexualidad

El sexo también existe en la esquizofrenia

07/03/2008

PATRICIA MATEY

MADRID.- La vida sexual de cualquier paciente psíquico siempre ha sido desestimada por la profesión médica. Una de las razones por las que se “ha pasado de largo sobre este campo” es que, hasta hace relativamente poco tiempo, la atención asistencial estaba enfocada casi exclusivamente al tratamiento, olvidando otras necesidades del enfermo. Sin embargo, la vida sexual sana y satisfactoria contribuye tanto al bienestar del individuo como a la integración de la población psiquiátrica y son los propios afectados los que muestran preocupación por su funcionamiento sexual en la consulta.

“Los pacientes esquizofrénicos, como el resto de enfermos mentales, son seres sexuales y el reconocimiento y la validación de esta realidad es un tema muy importante en su calidad de vida”, recuerda un artículo publicado en ‘Schizophrenia Bulletin‘.

Para José Díaz Morfa, presidente de la Asociación Española de Sexología Clínica (AESC) y consultor de la sección de Psiquiatría y Sexualidad Humana de la Asociación Mundial de Psiquiatría: “Los prejuicios existentes en torno a que el paciente grave no tiene vida sexual, la falta de información de los especialistas en esta materia y la extensión a la población femenina psiquiátrica del concepto que niega el disfrute sexual de la mujer, han postergado el interés médico en esta faceta.

El mundo secreto de las fantasías eróticas

Secret cinema

Jan 31st 2008

Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?: The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies
By Brett Kahr. Basic Books; 304 pages; $28.

ASKING strangers to recount their most private thoughts about sex is unlikely to make a dull book, and Brett Kahr’s compendious research into the psychology of sexual fantasy is gripping. It is also somewhat alarming.

Leave it open on your desk at work, and prudish colleagues or bosses may think your reading matter highly unsuitable. If you have children, it is not the sort of thing (unless you are very modern-minded) that you would leave around at home. In particular, the middle section is unsparingly explicit about every possible sort of erotic daydream. It includes sentences such as “let us immerse ourselves in some representative incest fantasies”. (Let’s not, some readers may feel.)

Not that it is all so hair-raising. Some people, not unexpectedly perhaps, fantasise about celebrities. A handful imagine romantic tenderness with their real-life partners. But many of those surveyed say they like thinking about doing disgusting things with, to, or in front of, total strangers, or (perhaps more unsettlingly) the people they love.

The case studies are not dirty stories, however. They are part of a big, solemnly academic, five-year research project. Mr Kahr, a London-based academic and therapist, surveyed (anonymously) 18,000 people in Britain and America in conjunction with YouGov, an internet pollster, and conducted 132 five-hour interviews. The upshot is that nine out of ten people have sexual fantasies, mostly pretty lurid ones—and Mr Kahr thinks the remaining tenth are crippled by shame, guilt or repression.

Evaluación del abuso de menores

El reto de evaluar el abuso sexual

El proceso pericial puede agravar las secuelas psicológicas que sufren los niños

JOAN CARLES AMBROJO  -  Barcelona
EL PAÍS - 29-01-2008

Cuando el abuso sexual a un menor no deja huella física, el niño que supuestamente ha vivido el trance es el único testimonio que puede ayudar a esclarecer los hechos. Pero ¿son fiables las narraciones infantiles?, ¿corresponden a situaciones vividas realmente?, ¿son susceptibles de ser manipulados los niños? La dificultad que entrañan estas cuestiones hace que muchos de los niños víctimas de abusos hayan de entrar en una espiral de pruebas e interrogatorios que en ocasiones agravan las secuelas de los propios abusos. Por eso, los especialistas plantean la necesidad de mejorar las entrevistas psicológicas periciales. La prevalencia del abuso sexual infantil en España es parecida a la de otros países occidentales y se sitúa en torno al 18,9% (15,2% en niños y 22,5% en niñas), según la psicóloga de la Universidad de Barcelona Noemí Pereda. Tan sólo la Unidad Funcional de Abusos Sexuales y Maltratos al Menor (UFAM) del hospital Sant Joan de Déu de Barcelona atiende cada año unas 160 consultas en las que se sospecha que un menor ha sido víctima de abusos. “El 50% de las consultas proceden directamente de las familias, lo cual indica que hay un elevado nivel de alerta, pero también hay sospechas de abusos que luego no se confirman”, afirma Dolors Petitbó, coordinadora de la unidad especializada del hospital Sant Joan de Déu.
La tercera parte de los casos tratados en este hospital tenían una alta probabilidad de haber padecido abuso sexual. Aunque las estadísticas indican que ahora hay más denuncias de abusos sexuales intrafamiliares, Arturo Canalda, Defensor del Menor de la Comunidad de Madrid, no cree que hayan aumentado los casos. Muchas denuncias se producen en el contexto de una separación matrimonial conflictiva. El problema es cómo distinguir en qué casos, de entre los denunciados, se han producido realmente abusos sexuales, y para ello es decisivo el tipo de pruebas e interrogatorios que se practican.

Desarrollo sexual en la infancia

The more things change … the Kinsey Institute on child sexuality.

Fischer, Nancy L.

Sexual Development in Childhood, edited by John Bancroft. Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 2003, 484 pages. Cloth, $47.85.

Recently, there has been a great deal of interest in the work of Alfred Kinsey.He and his team of researchers interviewed thousands of individuals to create statistical snapshots of American sexual practices in the 1940s and 1950s. His work was met both with great interest by the general public and criticism by politicians and other prominent figures who found his research scandalous.

Within the scientific community, Kinsey was criticized on the grounds that his methodology represented flawed science; he hadn’t used appropriate sampling techniques, and therefore his description of the American population’s sexual practices could not be considered accurate. Kinsey (and other sex researchers) subsequently met obstacles in securing funding for further scientific research on sexuality because of these reactions to his work. However, his contributions to scientific knowledge about sexual practices are significant, and his program of research continues at the Kinsey Institute for Sexual Research at the University of Indiana in Bloomington.

The book Sexual Development in Childhood is the final product of a workshop on child sexuality held at the Kinsey Institute. Some of the issues addressed in this book echo themes that were relevant to Kinsey’s own work; namely the difficulty of researching sexuality in a political climate that is deeply suspicious of sexual inquiry, and the general methodological difficulties of conducting research on human sexual behavior. This volume is comprised of the papers presented at the workshop, response papers by discussants, as well as transcripts of the general discussions that followed each session. The participants were researchers from a variety of fields including psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists, and anthropologists.

The papers and discussions are organized into a number of sections encompassing the historical context of suspicion towards scientific inquiry into child sexuality; methodological issues; new research on normal child sexual development; cross-cultural considerations; child sexual abuse effects; as well as discussions of life course theories and their relations to sexual mistreatment.

Historia de la ninfomanía

Journal of Social History. June 22, 2002

Nymphomania: A History. By Carol Groneman (New York and London: W.W. Norton & Company, 2000. xxiii plus 238pp. $24.95).

In her clever and elegant little book, Nymphomania: A History, Carol Groneman explores the changing meaning of the word “nymphomania” over the last two hundred years, and in doing so, manages to explain a great deal more about our altering understanding of female sexuality. How much sex is it permissible for a woman to have? And who decides?

Groneman’s thesis is built around a familiar framework, within which she nevertheless contributes an original perspective. To the Victorians, “nymphomania” was a clear-cut concept: the “nymphomaniac” was a diseased woman as her excessive interest in sex so blatantly defied the cultural conventions of “passionlessness” and the “Cult of True Womanhood.” Groneman’s focus on medical and legal records causes her to unnecessarily exaggerate her case; of course “nymphomania” was proscribed but Groneman seems to choose the most lurid examples!! Thus, she has found evidence of gynaecological surgery designed to cure nymphomania, most alarmingly a clitorodectomy performed on a child in the 1890s. She delineates the fierce debate among the gynaecologists at the turn of the century and also cases of strong objection to surgical procedures designed to cure nymphomania. And, compellingly, she finds an “autobiography of a nymphomaniac” in which a long series of procedures undertaken is described. Yet one still wonders how t ypical such cases were. One is convinced of the prescription of nymphomania by doctors; not of the commonness of draconian cures. Equally, in a culture where reticence reigned, nymphomania cannot have had huge importance, as few people knew about it.

Mitos y hechos sobre los agresores sexuales

Sexual Offender Treatment, Volume 2 (2007), Issue 1

Myths and Facts about Sexual Offenders: Implications for Treatment and Public Policy

Timothy Fortney¹, Jill Levenson², Yolanda Brannon³ & Juanita N. Baker^4
1Florida Institute of Technology, ²Lynn University, ³Florida Institute of Technology, ⁴Florida Institute of Technology

 

Abstract

Aim: The purpose of this study was to determine to what extent perceptions about sexual offenders are based on empirical evidence or misconceptions.
Background: Sexual offenders have often been under the spotlight of media attention and public censure. Legislatures in the United States and abroad have passed increasingly restrictive and intrusive laws in order to protect the public from convicted sexual offenders. Sex offender policies are often passed hastily and are not based on scientific evidence but on emotional reactions to high profile, violent, disturbing cases.
Method: Data were collected in Brevard County, Florida from 192 community members and 125 sexual offenders in outpatient treatment, all of whom were surveyed regarding their knowledge about five common themes. Comparisons between groups were analyzed, as were comparisons between participants’ responses and published data.
Results: Results revealed that both sex offenders and the public overestimated the rate by which strangers victimize children, and overestimated the number of sex offenders who were victims of sexual abuse in childhood. Both offenders and the public overestimated the number of sex crimes that come to the attention of authorities. The public more extensively than offenders overestimated the frequency of sexual recidivism rates and underestimated the efficacy of sexual offender treatment in comparison to the literature.
Conclusions: Common misconceptions may interfere with offenders’ treatment and reintegration into society as well as influence legislatures to pass laws that are misguided and inefficient. Implications for policy and practice are discussed.

Key words: sex offender, public perception, sexual abuse, myths, misconceptions, public policy

¿Por qué discuten hombres y mujeres de manera distinta?

From The Times
October 30, 2007

Why men and women argue differently
Women want to talk about it, but men are more likely to retreat into stoney silence. Our correspondent investigates the science behind how we argue

Damian Whitworth

In Gapun, a remote village on the Sepik River in Papua New Guinea, the women take a robust approach to arguing. In her pithy new book The Myth of Mars and Venus, Deborah Cameron reports an anthropologist’s account of a dispute between a husband and wife that ensued after the woman fell through a hole in the rotten floor of their home and she blamed him for shoddy workmanship. He hit her with a piece of sugar cane, an unwise move that led her to threaten to slice him up with a machete and burn the home to the ground.

At this point he deemed it prudent to leave and she launched into a kros – a traditional angry tirade directed at a husband with the intention of it being heard by everyone in the village. The fury can last for up to 45 minutes, during which time the husband is expected to keep quiet. This particular kros went along these lines: “You’re a f****** rubbish man. You hear? Your f****** prick is full of maggots. Stone balls! F****** black prick! F****** grandfather prick! You have built me a good house that I just fall down in, you get up and hit me on the arm with a piece of sugar cane! You f****** mother’s ****!”

Such a domestic scene may be familiar to some readers, but for most of us arguing with our partners is not quite such an explosive business; except, perhaps, when discussing who is most responsible for a navigational hiccup on the way to lunch at the home of an old flame of our partner’s, or getting to the bottom of who left the ****** ******* cap off the **** ******* toothpaste for the third ****** ******* time this ****** ******* week.

Human beings argue about everything from adultery to Zionism and we do so in different styles, whether we are submissive, passive, aggressive, abusive, abusive-passive, aggressive-abusive, submissive-aggressive or submissive-passive-aggressive-abusive.

But are there any broad differences between the sexes in the way that we argue? US research into marital stress on the heart has thrown up an intriguing finding about the way some are prone to “self-silencing” during arguments. The research by Elaine D. Eaker, published in Psychosomatic Medicine, found that more men than women had a tendency to bottle up their feelings during confrontations with their partners.

Hijos de homosexuales

A Helena, futura madre lesbiana

Estuve ayer dudando si colgar el artículo sobre los hijos de lesbianas. ¿No ha quedado ya claro que su adaptación es más que adecuada?¿Que no padecen “confusiones” de ningún tipo? ¿Que lo único que necesitan son figuras de apego estables y que les den cariño? ¿Que esto sucede tanto en parejas homosexuales como heterosexuales? ¿Realmente hace falta insistir en lo obvio? Sí, hace falta…
Después leer un extracto sobre las creencias (no llegan a pensamientos) del antiguo presidente del Gobierno, es evidente que queda una labor dura por delante. Veamos lo que dice Aznar en sus Cartas a un joven español (2007):

- Familia: hombre y mujer. Por mi parte yo creo, Santiago, en una familia compuesta de un hombre y una mujer, con hijos, y extendida a todos los miembros que por costumbre, por consanguinidad o integración, pertenecen a ella. Existen otras formas de convivencia, homosexuales o heterosexuales. Hay que respetarlo. Pero no estoy de acuerdo en que se considere cualquier situación equivalente a la familia de la que te hablo. Ni equivalente, ni alternativo.
- Hijos de homosexuales. No sé, y creo que nadie lo sabe, qué pasará cuando un niño o una niña no puedan llamar padre ni madre a quienes se dicen sus progenitores pero que en muchos casos no lo van a ser. ¿Qué idea del mundo y de la realidad van a tener unos niños así criados? ¿La de que todo es posible? ¿La de que las leyes pueden dar satisfacción a todos los deseos?

Crítica feminista del deseo sexual femenino

 Journal of Sex Research, Volume 43, Number 3, August 2006

 Women’s sexual desire: a feminist critique

By Jill M. Wood, Patricia Barthalow Koch, and Phyllis Kernoff Mansfield

Sexual desire is a key component of the current popular conceptualizations of sexual identity, sexual orientation, and sexual functioning and dysfunctioning. Some sexologists contend that no scholarly or scientific discussion of sexuality can occur without reference to it (Leiblum & Rosen, 2000; Levine, 2002). Even though sexual desire has been the topic of much recent research, there is a great deal of ambiguity and variation regarding the conceptualization, definition, operationalization, and application (in research and practice) of the term “sexual desire” as it relates to women (e.g. Basson, 2002b; Kaschak & Tiefer, 2002; Tiefer, 1995). This variation is profoundly related to the theoretical framework from which sexual desire is viewed. Most often sexual desire has been studied from a biomedical paradigm, as noted by Basson (2002a; 2002b), Rosen and Lieblum (1995), and Winton (2001). This paradigm posits sexuality as intrinsic, natural, and universal (Tiefer, 1988).

In contrast, feminist scholars and researchers have called for a critical analysis of the biomedical paradigm in favor of more woman-centered models of sexuality (e.g., Daniluk, 1998; McCormick, 1994; Tiefer, 1991, 1995, 2000). Feminism is not a monolithic ideology, but instead is defined and practiced in various ways by different people and groups (e.g., radical and liberal; McCormick). In its broadest interpretation, feminism represents advocacy for women’s interests. In a stricter definition, it is the “theory of the political, social, and economic equality of the sexes” (LeGates legate (lĕg`ət) [Lat. legare=to send], one sent as a representative of a state or of some high authority. In Roman history a legate was sent by the senate to the provinces as an envoy of the emperor. Sometime during the 12th cent. the word came into use to designate a papal ambassador., 1995, p. 494). Feminist sexology sexology /sex·ol·o·gy/ (sek-sol´ah-je) the scientific study of sex and sexual relations.
sex·ol·o·gy (sk-sl is the scholarly study of sexuality that is of, by, and for women’s interests (Koch, 2004). Using diverse epistemologies, methods, and sources of data, feminist scholars examine women’s sexual experiences and the cultural frame that constructs sexuality (Vance & Pollis, 1990). To this end, Pollis (198 has proposed the following principles to overcome the deficits in understanding women’s experiences, gender and gender asymmetry, and sexuality:

¿El mito de Marte y Venus?

From The Sunday Times

October 7, 2007

The Myth of Mars and Venus: Do Men and Women Really Speak Different Languages? by Deborah Cameron

OUP £10.99 pp204

Reviewed by Susannah HerbertIn

In the village of Gapun in Papua New Guinea, when a woman is annoyed with her husband, she swears at him for 45 minutes, at the top of her voice so the neighbours catch every nuance. During this “kros” — the word means “angry” — the target is not allowed to answer back, nor may anyone interrupt until she’s given her feelings full expression.

And what expression it is. The anthropologist Don Kulick recorded a typical kros: “You’re a ****ing rubbish man. You hear? Your ****ing ***** is full of maggots. You’re a big ****ing semen *****. Stone balls! …****ing black *****! You *****ing mother’s ****!”

When the flowers of English womanhood carry on like this — at closing time on Friday night in Ipswich, say — they’re thought to be behaving laddishly. When the housewives of Gapun turn the air blue, however, they are only doing what comes naturally to a woman. The village men, apparently, pride themselves on their ability to conceal their opinions and express themselves indirectly: if they need to get a grievance off their chests, they get their wives to do it for them. In Gapun, women are from Mars, men are from Venus.

I sensed early on in this delightfully spiky book that Deborah Cameron — an Oxford professor of language and communication — would give a first-class kros, and enjoy it, too. The only problem would be limiting the number of victims to one. Cameron’s targets are many: there’s John Gray, the author of the psychobabble classic, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Deborah Tannen, the author of You Just Don’t Understand, Simon Baron-Cohen, the author of The Essential Difference, and the husband-and-wife team behind a slim volume called Why Men Don’t Iron. These writers all subscribe to some version of what Cameron dubs the Mars-Venus myth, which holds that women are more verbal than men, that women talk more about people, relationships and feelings, while men talk more about things and facts, that women use language in a co-operative way, whereas men use it competitively. Oh, and that these differences mean that men and women routinely fail to communicate, but can learn to do better — which might explain why Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has sold more than 10m copies in 37 languages.